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Google v Microsoft + Yahoo! = humorous writing

With the potential (and it's by no means a certainty) purchase of Yahoo! by Microsoft I am pleased to see the best of writers have taken to using some cracking apologies to explain what they think it is - these via Rod Drury:

It’s like taking the two guys who finished second and third in a 100-yard dash and tying their legs together and asking for a rematch, believing that now they’ll run faster.

According to our spies in Redmond the general consensus among the Borg rank-and-file is sheer and total dread. At best they see this as a giant pain in the ass, an enormous drain on resources, an unnecessary and pointless distraction with lots of nights and weekends spent slogging away on random useless bullshit and dealing will all sorts of annoying non-Microsoft people who don’t understand how Microsoft does things but can’t be blown off or pushed around like the “partners” the Borg is accustomed to dealing with.

Imagine a circus act in which two enormous, clumsy, awkward elephants that don’t really like each other are supposed to mate while riding on skateboards. Now imagine that it is your job, you lucky bastard, to be one of the little circus clowns standing alongside trying to make this extremely unnatural and unholy act take place. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of people will have their lives completely ruined and flipped upside down for the next two years because of this deal. They’ll see even less of their kids. And those ski weekends? Forget about it. Ain’t gonna happen.

I also have a wry smile inside for Telecom/Xtra - X dumps M to meet Y who is bought by M